The girl
by mags0699
Summary: Set after season three, but Kate had a daughter not many people knew about. Some self-harm.
1. Chapter 1

**Authors note: This is my first multi chapter fic and if you see any mistakes or have any advice please tell me thanks :). Also I don't own Castle of course I wish I did.**

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><p>"Who are you?" Castle asks. My mother had sent me pictures of him and they just didn't do him justice. That and the fact that he was my mothers favorite author.<p>

"She... She's... My mother." I mumble out with tears streaming down my face.

"JJ come here." Lanie says and I immediately run into her arms ignoring the confused stares of everyone else.

"She never told me. Did she tell you Javi? Kevin?"

"No." They said in unison the shock readable on both of their faces.

"Lanie why didn't you tell anyone?" Castle asks.

"Kate made me promise and this poor girls mother is in there with a bullet in her chest so you guy should stop pestering her."

"What's your name?" He asks me.

"Jessica Johanna. But everyone calls me JJ."

"Ok I just have one more question for you." He says receiving Lanie's death stare.

"How old are you?"

"14." I reply turning back into Lanie's arms to cry.

"It'll be alright your mom is strong." She keeps whispering in my ear until I fall asleep. When I wake up the doctor is talking to Lanie.

"Lanie what did he say." I say wiping the tears off my face once he leaves.

"She made it out of surgery and is stable but she's in a medically induced coma and she should wake up in a couple of days." She says the happiness written all over her face.

"Can I go see her though?" I asks giving her my best sad face which wasn't hard because I was extremely depressed.

"Yes but not for long then you are going to stay at my place until your mother wakes up and is able to go home."

"Alright." I say as she leads me to my mother's room. She's extremely pale but looks like she is just in a deep slumber. "Mom I know you sent me to that private boarding school to keep me safe but I really missed you and after this I don't know if you can make me go back. I need to be here to keep you safe. Bye mom love you." I say squeezing her hand trying not to cry in front of her. I just wanted to be strong for her. She is always strong brave tough and she's all I've ever wanted to be.

"Come on we will come back tomorrow."

"Alright can we get some dinner?"

"Yah anything."

"Can we get some chinese."

"You really are Kate's daughter." Lanie joked making me smile.

"Lanie can you be honest with me?"

"I'll try to be as honest as I possibly can." She says giving me a pity smile.

"Will my mom make a full recovery?"

"Well that depends on a multitude of things but your mom is the strongest person I know. I would like to believe she will make a full recovery and the hard part, her surgery is done. Now just for the grueling physical therapy she's going to need you to help her whether or not she wants to admit it."

"I will I don't think I want to go back to boarding school again I'm hoping I can convince her to let me stay and go to school here."

"You do know your mother was just trying to what was best for you she didn't want someone to come and kidnap you. God knows that would kill her. You were too young to remember but she drug herself down a hole with her mother's case if something happened to you she would do anything and everything to get your back she would never give up ever it would be twice as worse."

"I know but I'm old enough to take care of myself I know self-defense. She taught me how to pick a lock and what to do in different hostage situations."

"I know." She says with a real smile this time.

"You know what I'm not hungry I think when we get to your house I'm just going to go to bed and we can have a big breakfast." I say as we pull into her house. I lay my one bag down in Lanie's guest bedroom, and fall into bed.

When I wake up I see a note from Lanie saying "I was going to make you a nice breakfast but I have a body to go examine I'll stop by at noon and bring you to the station I think detectives Esposito and Ryan really want to meet you. Castle may or not be there. Thanks, Lanie." I look at the clock and its 10:30 so I have an hour and a half before Lanie comes back. I change into a pair of yoga pants and an over sized hoodie for comfort. I put my brown curly hair up in a ponytail. My mother always told me to wear it down. But she wasn't here just like she was never there for me I hate her for not being here now.

I grab the one thing that keeps me calm my knife. I make three cuts on my arm one because I hate myself. One because I hate my mother, and a third one for doing this to myself. I pour a little peroxide on my cuts then leave it. I didn't cut deep so I don't see the point in bandaging it up.

I sit on the couch and watch reruns of nebula nine my mothers high school obsession until Lanie gets home.

"Hey you ready to go meet the boys maybe you can give them some advice on the case we just got its a weird one."

"K." I say. When we arrive at the precinct its quiet when I walk through the door, everyone turns their heads to look at me like I'm a circus freak.

"Hey." I say when we reach my mother's desk. I run my fingers over her plaque detective Beckett.

"Hey we wanted to apologize for the way we acted at the hospital we were just taken by surprise. You mother never told us about you." Yah she never told anyone but Lanie about me I was a mistake a reminder of hard times so she sends me to boarding school, and I try to go anywhere but home on summer vacation.

"Yah she usually doesn't tell people." I say giving them a fake smile.

"Wonder why? You know you look just like her." Detective Esposito says.

"Thank you. So we're you there when my mother was shot?" I ask. Hey its better to get the hard questions out of the way first.

"Yah but the man you need to talk to is Castle if he hadn't pushed her when he did she wouldn't be alive now."

"Oh." I say. I make a mental note to thank him. Yah me and my mom aren't on the best ground but she still is my mother and she does try, but I just don't think she was ready to be a mother when she had me. I mean her mother had just been murdered I was a product of a one night drunken stand. But I was the reason she sobered up so I guess we work against and for each other.

"Why isn't he here?"

"I think its too much for him. Maybe I or Lanie or someone can take you to see him."

"I would really appreciate it." I say.

"Of course so what do you want us to call you?" He asks cautiously.

"Call me JJ everyone except my mother does." I reply quickly.

"Alright JJ so you wanna have a taste at what your mother does?" Detective Ryan asks.

"Why not." I reply.

"Alright so the murderer left the body in a lake tied her to bricks and sunk her body she was down there for three days."

"Well that shows that he didn't want to be reminded of what he did ever. I'd say he feels really guilty. How did she die?"

"A bullet to the back of the head." Esposito replies.

"So he didn't want her to suffer a quick shot. She may not of even seen it coming." I say. "Was she married or in a relationship?" I ask.

"Married the husband says he was home alone and he seemed extremely upset."

"Well if I were you I would check on his alibi because my gut says him." I say as Lanie brings ballistics up.

"Here you go." Lanie says disappearing back down to the morgue.

"The gun belongs to the husband you were right JJ. You going to be a cop like you mom?" Detective Run asks. I hate when people ask me that question. No I can't live up to her reputation I could never be good enough. They would all just talk about how I ruined the name Beckett or she can't live up to her mom.

"I don't think so." I reply.

"Well you're really good your mother would be proud. We will bring back some lunch after we go get this guy and bring him in for questioning hopefully we get a confession you can watch from behind the glass if you want." Detective Esposito says.

"I would love to." I wait for an hour and they come back with chinese with grim looks on their faces.

"What about the husband?" I asked.

"Suicide left a note that explained it all killed himself with the same gun too."

"Well I guess that saved you guys a trial." I say.

"Yah so we got your moms favorite. Because we didn't know what you liked." He said handing me my food. We ate in silence.

"Alright so now that this case is closed and we have all day to do the paperwork what do you say to a poker game?" Detective Esposito asks me.

"What are we playing?"

"Texas Holdem."

"You two are on." By two o'clock I had won more hands than both of them combined.

"Looks like you guys just got your butts handed to you by a 14 year old girl. Man that really must hurt your pride."

"Wow I'm offended that you would think such a thing." Esposito said acting extremely dramatic. "Alright we need to finish this paperwork." He says with a sad look on his face. I take the elevator down to the morgue where Lanie was finishing up some paperwork.

"Hey I'm almost done then we can go visit your mother or we can go thank Castle whatever you want to do."

"Can we go thank Castle then go see my mother?" I ask.

"Of course." She says. She tries to make small talk with me on the way there but it's mostly silent. Lanie gets the doorman to let us up without calling Castle. We knock on the door and a pretty red head answers the door. She looks like a typical rich kid never does anything wrong everyone loves her, and she gets away with anything.

" Hey 're here to see Castle." Lanie says.

"He's in the study." She says plopping down reading an ap chem book.

Lanie knocks. "Come in."

"Hey sorry to intrude, but I heard that you saved my mother's life and I needed to tell you thank you and I will be forever grateful of you for it. It means a lot that you risked your life to save hers. That is true bravery and love." I say seeing his eye twinkle when I say love.

"You didn't need to thank me your mother has saved my life countless times."

"No I needed to I don't care how many times she's saved yours if you hadn't done that I would have been parentless and in foster care but nobody wants a fourteen year old so I would have been lost in the system and all the possibilities terrify me. I just want you to know you are a hero to me." I say tears coming down my face. He gestures for a hug and I run into his arms and they make me feel safe and secure like nothing in the world could ever go wrong. I see why my mother kept him around as a friend but I didn't see why it hadn't become something more. She has had countless boyfriends that she has written me about I never got to meet them though.

"We would never let that happen to you someone at the 12th would have taken you in or maybe even me." He replies pulling out of our hug.

"Thank you. I need to go see my mother now." I say wiping the tears in my eyes and walking back to Lanie who put her arm around me pulling me up against her as we walked out the door.

"That was really sweet of you." She says wiping the tears in her eyes as we got into the car. "I didn't know you were feeling like that. I would have taken you in sweetie. You would of never been in the system because you have people who love you now." She says and for the first time I believe those words my mother constantly told me that but until now I never really felt wanted or needed.

"Lanie thank you." I say making her make a perplexed face.

"Its nothing but just thank you." I say not ready to explain or show anyone the scars that line up my arm from years of cutting and feeling unwanted.

"Alright let's go see your mother they should be taking her off the medically induced coma she could wake up anytime from hours later to days later."

"Ok." I mumble I really need my mother back I need to be on better ground with her.

"I know this hasn't been the best for you and I know you're really sad about your mother but I want you to know I'm always here to talk to you about anything you need."

"Thank you Lanie. You have been a huge help for me."

"Anytime JJ."

"Now let's go see my mom." I say walking into the hospital going straight to her room I memorized the number.

"They say she could wake up anytime now do you wanna spend the night?" She asks quietly.

"Please." I say a year or two coming down my face. I sit in the chair next to my moms bed and hold her hand. I fell asleep like that, when I wake up the next morning Lanie is still asleep same as my mother. I use the bathroom quickly. When I come out my mom is blinking mumbling incoherently.

"Lanie." I yell waking her up. "She's waking up."

"Jess." She mumbles taking the oxygen mask off and I can tell it hurt her to say that."

"Quiet mom just let the pain killers sink in and work on breathing I'm pretty sure that's painful enough." I say to her receiving a tiny head nod in return.

"I'm so sorry mom I shouldn't of been so angry with you and I should of kept in touch. I was really angry when I got called down to the office and they said it was about my mom I was pissed and now I don't see why mom I love you and want you to forgive me." I could see the love on her eyes. Will you forgive me.

She nodded her head. She moved her hands back and pointed at her then me.

"Do you mean can I forgive you?" She nodded.

"Mom I know these things are suppose to bring us together and it has I'm really sorry but I'm just not quite ready to forgive you yet I'm almost there I promise. Can I hug you." She nods and I give her a small hug as the nurse walks in.

"I'm glad you're awake and you're doing pretty good at breathing but this mask will stay on for at least a few days and I you get short of breath or it is extremely painful after that then you put it back in for a bit and can take it off when you feel ready." She says checking her vitals.

"Sweetie I know you're super excited to see your mom but you need to shower and get a change of clothes."

"Do I have to." I say tears in my eyes.

"You can come right back and I'll go to the station."

"Alright. Mom I have to go change and take a shower I'll be right back." I say tears streaming down my face.

After we walk out I go full blown bawling. "Lanie I ruined everything she forgave me and asked if I could forgive her but I couldn't. I'm a horrible person I couldn't bring myself to forgive her even though she's laying there after barely surviving I couldn't let bygones be bygones. I'm a bitch Lanie nobody will ever love me because I'm fucked up."

"Jessica Johanna I don't ever want to hear you say that again you have tons of people who love you and your only human. I'm sure Kate understands how your feeling. And you're not a horrible person you're a sweet girl who's been put in a horrible spot." She says shrinking down to my level. She pulled down my sweatshirt and looked at the scars and three fresh cuts.

"I suspected that you had those now you're never ever going to do that again and I want whatever you used to do that or I swear to go you'll go to rehab while your mother is going through her therapy. This isn't you." She said pointing to my cuts.

"But it is I'm not strong like my mother. I can't do it. I'm not her!" I scream running out into the parking garage and hiding under a car so Lanie couldn't see me.

"Jessica please come out now we can just go home and forget this happened." She yells far away from where I am hiding. I kept quiet and she kept walking around trying to find me.

"Jessica come out now!" She screams right in front of the car I'm hiding under.

"Javi I need a favor." She says right in front of me. "I need you to come down here and help me look for JJ. I found something out about her and she ran into the parking garage and now I can't find her." "Alright see you in ten." She said walking to the other end of the parking garage. I snuck out the gate and ran on foot. I made it back to my mother's apartment and hid under my bed just in case they came to check on me. I shut my phone off so they can't track me. Locked the door and everything. I haven't been in my room in over three years. Last time was when I was 11 and was into pink. My mother had bought all new pink stuff after the explosion she wrote me about. If only we hadn't of had the huge fight before I left then maybe things would be different.

"Jessica Johanna listen to me you are going to to this boarding school like it or not. "

"I've been kicked out of four already mother can't I just stay here with you."

"No you have to be away from me."

"Why mother! Is it because you had a fucking one night stand and don't give two shits about me!"

"Watch your language Jess."

"I'll do what I fucking want." Then she slaps me across the face.

"Oh my fucking god I... I... I'm sorry." She says as tears stream down my face.

"You're a fucking bitch you know that you are just a whore who had a one night stand and are incapable of loving your own child. You send her away. You don't have to look at her anymore trust me I'm not coming back I'll spend my summer and every summer after this somewhere else. You'll get your wish I won't be around anymore so you won't have to look at your fuck up." My mother was in tears now but denied nothing. I walked into my room and packed my stuff. I got in the car and we drove to the school in silence.

"Don't ever fucking talk to me again." I said getting out of the car and into the school.

I was a bitch back then now she has almost died and I still can't forgive her. I am still laying under my bed when I hear someone unlock the door.

"JJ I'm giving you one last chance to come out." Lanie said the fear in her voice very noticeable.I stay silent hoping she will walk away. She walks into my room and sits on my bed.

"I know you're under there and I know you're just scared but you have to stop that cutting on your arms is extremely dangerous."

"I know and I don't want to do it but its the only thing in my life I can control. I know I sound like a child but I've had zero control over anything."

"I know sweetie but can you please please stop for me."

"I'll try Lanie I will I swear." I say getting out from under my bed and sitting next to her.

"Alright sweetie let's go home and get you some new clothes and you can take a shower." She said pulling me close again. I pull out a pair of sweatpants and a long sleeve pink shirt. The shower is the one place where I feel truly safe the hot water running down my skin. Its seven when we pull into the hospital again.

"Mom do you love me?" I ask after I get settled into the seat next to her. She nods.

"I want us to be a family for once and family starts with forgiveness. I forgive you mom I know you didn't mean it." I say tears coming down my face and I can see some coming down hers.

"You did a really good thing there." Lanie whispers into my ear.

"Thanks." I say giving her a hug. 'Mom I can't come tomorrow we are looking at schools tomorrow public schools so I can stay with you. I don't care about your job I just want to be with you. She nods again. "I love you mom." I say giving her hand a squeeze. Lanie has to pull me away from her so I can go back to her house.

"Ok now I want you to be honest are your arms the only area with cuts? She says when we get in the car.

"Yes I only ever did it on my arms."

"Alright well I'm going to need to look at your scars and the fresher ones when we get inside."

"Alright but can I ask one thing?"

"Sure."

"Can you let me tell her I want to be the one to tell her I'm broken and scarred."

"Of course I would of never told her without your permission but you do have to tell her, not right away but within the next couple of months."

"I will I swear." I say dozing off.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note: This is a teeny tiny chapter and the next one is bigger and should****be up Monday so don't kill me and thank you for everyone who has read it so far.**

Castle pov

She was my daughter. I don't know if Kate remembers it or not but she was drunk and so was I. Why didn't she contact me if she knew. I've missed out on fourteen years of her life. She has my eyes and nose. Fourteen fucking years and she didn't say a word.

"Mother I will be back." I say grabbing my coat.

"Alright Darling." I drive like a maniac to the hospital and go straight into her room, she's sleeping but I need answers.

"Kate I need to talk to you." I say and her eyes flutter open. "Please you need to tell me the truth on my next question alright." She nods, her face showing confusion. "She's my daughter isn't she thats why you've never started a relationship with me you were terrified I'd find out." She nods tears coming down her face.

"Why Kate why didn't you come find me I would of been there. Alexis would of been thrilled to have a sibling. I always thought you had just been too drunk and not remembered our night together. But all these years I've been following you remembered our night I know I felt something, but I don't know about you anymore." I see the tears making a river down her face. "I know you were just trying to protect your daughter but she needs to know." She nods not looking at my face. "Alright then I'll see you soon, Till tomorrow Kate." I say kissing the top of her head. I walk out the door looking back at her the entire time, fear is written all over her face.

When I reach Lanie's house it is eight thirty. I knock and Lanie comes to the door.

"Lanie I need to talk to JJ now, it is extremely important." She gestures for me to come in, I've never been to Lanie's house, actually it is quite spacious for New York.

"JJ can you come here please." She hollers down the hallway.

"Coming." She bounds out in flannel pajama pants and a long sleeve matching pajama shirt.

"Castle? What do you want?" She asks suspiciously.

"You may want to sit down." I reply and she does. "I know who your father is." She and Lanie both look at my with wide eyes.

"Who?" She asks quickly.

"It's me and before you kill me, Lanie give me time to speak." Lanie sits down next to JJ.

"Spill now." She says.

"Well you mother and I we were both drunk and I had met her at one of my book signings. We got a hotel room and had sex alright but I felt something more. But when I woke up the next morning she was gone. I was going to ask her to stay but she was already gone. When she came up to me at the my book signing and asked me about the case, that was the first time I had seen her in 11 years. And when I saw you in the hospital room I had to ask how old you were because you had my eyes and nose. I just got the clarification from Kate tonight, and I would like to get to know you better." I could see that the information was still being processed by both of them, so I sit and wait for them to come out of their trance.

"I think I need tonight to think about whether or not I want to get to know you." She replied.

"Well thank you for allowing me to come in and tell her the news."

"No problem Castle, now I think we both need time to process this information." she says politely kicking me out.

"Yah I was just about to leave anyways, gotta get home to mother and Alexis."

"Bye Castle." They both say in unison.

"Bye." I say shutting the door behind me. When I get home Alexis is sitting on the couch.

"Hey dad."

"Hey." I say my mind elsewhere.

"What's up?" She says.

"Nothing just thinking of some ideas for my next novel. How about we make sundaes and forget about books and everyone else, just me and my daughter."

"Alright." She says pulling out all the necessary sundae ingredients. We eat our sundaes and Alexis goes on and on about her tests that she's taking. Normally I would listen because I am super proud of her. But the only thing on my mind was JJ.

"Alexis I am so proud of you but I think I'm gonna go write some." I say kissing the top of her head, putting my bowl in the sink.

"Alright." She says finishing up her ice cream.


	3. Chapter 3

JJ pov

"Why? Why didn't she tell me Lanie!" I scream crying into Lanie's arm, she wraps her arms around me tighter and wipes my tears away.

"I don't know but she did send you to that boarding school right after he showed up. Before that she always gave you the option to stay, because it broke her heart when you were away. Now do you want my honest opinion?"

"Yes." I say wiping the remaining tears from my eyes.

"My guess is she didn't want him taking you away from her, she was a nineteen year old girl whose mother was just shot she wasn't the most emotionally stable or ready to raise a child. He was a millionaire who had a three-year old daughter who was perfect. Any court would have ruled in his favor over hers and she fell in love with you when she first saw you. She cleaned up her act when she found out she was pregnant. She became a completely different person you were exactly what she needed in her life and he was standing in the way of that. So she didn't tell anyone not even me."

"That makes a lot of sense, but Castle just doesn't seem like that kind of person and I think he's just as angry as me. I am pissed that she has known my father for fourteen years, and he has missed out on his daughter's life for fourteen years. That must hurt even worse." I say going into deep thought. He really deserves the chance to get to know me. But that will have to wait until the morning because I really want to have the time to think it over some more.

"Do you still want to look at schools tomorrow?" She asks me. That was a stupid question this doesn't change that I want to patch things up with the two of us.

"Private and public. And Lanie thank you for being here for me."

"I'll always be here for you kiddo just because our staying with your mom doesn't make me love you any less I'm your aunt remember."

"I think I'm going to go to bed Lanie." I say.

"Alright but you have to be up at seven, we are looking at the first school at eight."

"My alarm is already set." I say shutting the bedroom door. I walk into the bathroom door and lock it, I turn on the shower so Lanie doesn't get suspicious. I reach above the sink and into the box that has my blades, I grab the first one and make four clean marks. I feel shitty about it afterwards it doesn't have the same effect it used to. I used to feel in charge and it cleared my mind. Now it just hurt. I put on my pajamas and fall into my bed to have a fitful sleep. I see my mother getting shot but this time Castle isn't there and she dies. I go into foster care and no one wants to take me in. Castle finds out about me, but this time he doesn't want me he calls me an abomination. He hates me and tells me to drop dead he signs away his parental rights to me and walks away with Alexis who just stares at me the whole time like I'm a freak show. I jolt awake to my alarm and grab my mom's sweatshirt and a pair of skinny jeans. I settled to a nice private school with long sleeve uniforms all year-long. I wasn't excited about the skirt I would have to wear with it but I would learn to adjust to it.

I walked into my mother's room in the hospital, and she was sleeping she seemed to do lots of it but i know it's really good for her and she needs a ton of it. I know Castle finding out about me must have doubled her stress level so that probably isn't helping her situation any. Now that I am thinking about it I probably should call Castle.

"Hey."

"Hi. It's JJ, and I thought about what you said and I think that I would like to get know you and I can only imagine what you're thinking it's horrible for me and it must be that much if not worse for you." There was a pregnant pause before he spoke again.

"That sounds awesome six o'clock sound good to you?" he asked.

"Definitely." I say

"Alright dress comfortably we aren't going anywhere fancy." He says.

"Bye."

"Bye."

My mom's eyes flutter open after I get off the phone. "Hey mom I picked a school out today."

"Really? What one?" She asks.

"Burksely academy" I say.

"Nice I'll have to look at it when I get out of here."

"Speaking of that when are they going to discharge you?" I ask cautiously.

"Well Friday if I'm good, then bed rest for another two weeks. Then limited exercise for a month, then therapy for another month and a half then if I'm deemed fit then I can return to work. It's going to be a long and strenuous process and I really am going to need you Jess. I know my limits and I am ready to begin the process."

"I'll always be here for you mom."

"I know baby. Who were you on the phone with?" She asks curiously.

"Castle he wants to get to know me better. I am going to dinner with him tonight at six." I am surprised at what I see when I look at her face there is not anger or resentment in her face the only thing I see is happiness.

"Mom do you like him?" I ask not breaking eye contact.

"Its complicated." She says after a long pause.

"I think you should give the poor guy a chance. He seems like an amazing guy. And he is my father." I say instantly regretting saying the last sentence.

"You have every right to be pissed at me, I really should've told you about him but I was terrified of telling you. I loved you so much and I didn't want to take even the slightest chance of getting you taken away. He was rich and I was nineteen and definitely not in the best circumstances to raise a child and I really didn't raise you. You raised yourself while I worked long strenuous hours and then when I could afford to you went off to boarding school. I'm really sorry but I am different now Castle is breaking down my walls again, and I think it has really changed me. I mean I started writing you about cases and everything, I really just wished you would have written me back." She says tears streaming down her face and I felt a few come down mine.

"It's alright mom I completely understand and I didn't completely raise myself you were there when it mattered. You came when I got sick at school, and you always called to say goodnight if you weren't going to make it. I did wish you were there more, but when it really mattered that's when you were there and no one else could replace you. And I did get your letters, I have all of them in a small box at Lanie's. I thought it was super sweet that you were writing me about your day and cases, just those small things made my days easier. When I was missing you I would re-read them. I was just way too stubborn to write you back. I was angry and I'm sorry." My vision goes blurry from the tears streaming down my face, and I can only imagine the amount of tears coming down her face.

"I forgive you, I was super stubborn too. I didn't want you to see him, or him to see you. And I took all my anger out to you, and I'm an adult I should know better."

"Alright so you're not angry that i want to get to know my father?"

"No I am actually really happy that you want to get to know him. I think I want him to be a more permanent part of my life after I get out of here, but don't think that it is definite because I'm not entirely sure yet." This puts a smile on my face I'm finally getting what I have always dreamed of a family. It was nice when it was just me and my mom, but in my dreams I always dreamed up a man for my mother and we lived happily ever after.

"Alright, but there is something that I need to tell you about, something that I'm going to need your help and support on. And by help and support I don't mean sending me to see a psychiatrist or psychologist I need you to promise me this mom." I say a few tears trickling down my face.

"I'll help you work through anything. Its alright I hate them too, but I think I might need to go see one after this."

"Alright but you promised mom." I say rolling up my sleeve to show her my arm littered with scars and the four fresh marks. She looks at my arm and then up into my eyes. Her eyes fill with hurt, disappointment, and worry.

"It's alright mom Lanie looked at them they aren't life threatening, but I promise you I am stopping." I say looking away from her eyes, it hurts to see the disappointment in her eyes. She pulls me onto her bed next to her, and pulls me into a hug.

"When did you start doing this?" She asks.

"When I went to that boarding school. I felt unwanted and unneeded, I just felt like I had failed you in some way. I fell into a depression, but after being back I feel so much better. Everyone has made me feel loved and wanted and I'm better I promise I just need you to be there for me that's it." I say still in my mom's embrace.

"It's all my fault." She whispers barely loud enough for me to hear. Her tears hitting the top of my head.

"Mom it isn't I swear it was my fault I should have called, texted, or written to you. If I was feeling like that, I could have even talked to a teacher or a counselor there. You can't blame yourself I know I blamed you for the longest time, but being back here showed me that it wasn't your fault. But I also realized that I am not a failure. I've always thought that I was a failure compared to you. But I know that I'm not now and mom I love you alright so don't blame yourself for what I did."

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><p><strong>Author's note: This chapter covers a lot of the more difficult stuff , and coming up next is some daughter father bonding time to make up for it. <strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**Alright guys I'm super sorry that this is late. I've had some things going on and I'm sorry. This is super small but part two will be out Friday at the latest.**

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><p>"So where are we going?" I ask already knowing the answer. He wasn't going to tell me the answer.<p>

"That would ruin the surprise now wouldn't it?" He says raising his eyebrows, making me laugh.

"Come on pleaseeeeee..." I beg.

"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo." He says as the waiter brings our food.

"Come on just one hint?"

"I swear you're just like your mother sometimes. No now want to race?" He asks pointing to my shake.

"Your so on Castle."

"Be prepared to get beaten. 1, 2, 3, GO!" He yells. I down the first half of my shake, but get a huge brainfreeze. While he downs the rest of his. "I WIN." He yells making the entire restaurant look at us.

"Only because I got a brainfreeze." I say.

"Hey a wins a win. So do you want one clue to where we are going?" He asks.

"Yesssss." I say.

"Well nope." he says grabbing a bit of my shake and putting it on my nose.

"Hey." I say smearing some on his face.

"You are so going to pay for that." He says throwing a fry at me.

"Nope." I say throwing two fries back at him.

"Hey." he says grabbing the ketchup bottle.

"You wouldn't dare." I say grabbing the mustard and pointing it at him.

"Hmmmmmm... Are you so sure about that?" He asks.

"Very sure unless you want Lanie to kill you and me." I say.

"Well nobody wants Lanie to kill them so not today kiddo." He says putting down the ketchup bottle and I follow.

"So whats your other daughter like?" I ask not knowing how to approach the subject any other way.

"Alexis is a really sweet girl she will be a senior this year. So she's just three years older than you. And just so you know I didn't cheat on Alexis's mother with your mom we were already over at the time that I met your mom. Now back to Alexis she's extremely smart, responsible and I have no idea where she gets it from, she's a typical good kid, and she gets straight A's. I know she'll love you when she actually meets you. She always wanted a siblings but I never found that one person. I always thought that it was your mom, but she disappeared. I never found anyone else good enough to fill the void. I did get married once though but it meant very little to me, it was over really quick." He said, joy written on his face when he talked about his daughter.

"I can't wait to meet your daughter, she seems really sweet." I say a little sad.

"Well are you ready for part two of our adventure?" He asked.

"So ready. This better be super good." I say leaping from my seat and running to the town car waiting for us.


	5. Chapter 5

** AN: Sorry guys I had this all typed up for you guys and then our internet went out on Friday but they got it fixed today thankfully. So here is part two. Next Friday's will be a lot longer.**

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><p>"LASER TAG!" I scream.<p>

"Uh... duh. Who doesn't love laser tag?" He says helping me to my equipment.

"I've always wanted to, but I've never gotten to go." I admit.

"WHAT! We will have to talk to Kate about that because that is completely unfair. Every child deserves a chance to go at least once."

"I know. You will definitely have to tell her that maybe when she gets better she can play with us."

"Alright so we are going to get ten seconds to hide around the house then its game on." He says running away, sometimes he is like a nine year old and others he acts so responsible. I will never understand him.

"Your so on!" I scream as I hide behind the couch.

"I'm going to annihilate you." He screams back. I bolt to behind a beam, and he fires a couple of shots letting me know where he is.

"Nah I'm going to wipe the floor with you." I say firing a couple shots at him, he bolts out of the way behind the beam in front of me.

"You may be a good shot, but you will never be as good as me." He says running full speed towards me hitting me with a few shots while I am confused. I burst out into laughter.

"You got me this time, but next time your crazy tactic won't work on me." I say once I catch my breath.

"Crazy Castle is always coming up with new tactics so I will always be victorious!" He yells running around. I grab my gun and shoot him twice in the chest.

"Hey you cheated!" He yells putting a pouty face on.

"No I just came up with my own tactics." I say looking him in the eyes. He looks like someone had just kicked his puppy.

"Fine, but I'm not going easy on you this time." He says, his childish grin coming back to his face.

"I wouldn't want you to that only makes beating you two times the fun." I say running behind the beam.


	6. Chapter 6

"Go kiddo it'll be fine remember we are going to go see your mom after school." Lanie said.

"I know you've told all morning and all of last night I think it's physically impossible for me to forget." I said basically hurtling my self out of the car before it was fully stopped. I just needed to get out of of the of the car Lanie is cool and all but she is starting to get on my nerves. I know she's just trying to trying to be helpful and motherly, but she is going way too far overboard.

I look at my schedule and the first class is English. I love English and all but starting off the morning with something I am amazing at doesn't sound like fun. It It does in theory sound like a good idea but it just leads leads to constant boredom and doodles. My second class is geometry my least favorite subject. Who likes math anyways. My third class is gym, my favorite class, at least that gives me something to look forward to. Fourth hour I have Russian I've always loved loved the language and my mom has taught me it since I was little. I speak speak it fluently, but I am not so good with the grammar side of it. Fifth hour I have Computers which I like, I am pretty good at it and it's something that doesn't get boring. Sixth hour I have Psychology, I am so looking forward to that. Lastly seventh period I have study hall. I have lunch after fourth period.

I trudge into the school right as the bell rings, and I make it to English just before the bell rings and sit down in the seat in the very back, it's the first day of school and everybody looks like they want to be anywhere but here. The teacher, a woman, is sitting at her desk with her head in her hands. The second the bell rings her head comes out of her hands

"Hello class so I'm and I'm going to pass out a syllabus that explains what we will be doing this year, we have a lot to cover and there will be three books read in class and three books read outside of class. Next on the list in talks about the creative writing assignment you will have all year to work on it, there will be four random check in days to see how far you are coming and for me to give you advice on what I think of it. The only requirements are that there are 25 pages written with your own creative plot and characters, and that it be school appropriate I'm not saying you can't have occasional swear words but I want them to be correctly used and I don't want them like every other word. Everyone's check ins will be on different days so don't think that just because your friend got one you will too. Now the first check in won't be for at least three weeks so you guys have time to at least start it. Then there will also be an essay written about yourself, now I'm going to be the only one to read it so feel free to write about anything. I don't want stuff like I'm a girl and I'm blonde. I want deep things like things you would never tell anyone. Or things you don't want anyone to know. Now no matter what you write in these I'm not going to tell anyone without your permission I swear on that with my life I've had students tell me things that could get them or others arrested and not said anything after I read your papers and grade them they immediately get returned to me and I shred them. Now you can read or to read a about the grading scales and stuff and I know 90% of you won't but you have the remaining 20 minutes to read about it or do whatever I don't care." She said returning to her seat immediately going to paper she had on her desk. She doesn't seem bad she seems upfront about everything no sugar coating there. I glance to the syllabus and feel guilty because she's right nobody is going to read it. I look around and see about three people out of the 20 of us reading it. The rest are talking to each other or on their cellphones or both. Nobody is seated next to me or in front of me he closest person is two over or two up.

I sit in silence reading on my phone until the bell rings. My dad is actually a pretty good writer and I know he'd probably object to me reading his book, but I mean I've seen worse on television. I've always wondered where I had gotten my talent for English and my mom always told me it had to of come from my dad. When the bell rings I have to run across the school to geometry, normally I would probably be late because I wouldn't be in a rush to get there but today is a do nothing day get syllabi and have fun.

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><p>AN: Alright so before you guys freak out I know this was suppose to be up a long time ago but some family stuff came up then I moved then my computer wasn't working right. I'm going to try to have another chapter up this week.


	7. Chapter 7

"Hey mom."

"Hey sweetie. How was school today?"

"It was the first day so pretty boring. Hopefully tomorrow it will pick up and I'll have some work to do."

"Yah I just can't wait to get home and start physical therapy. I want my life to return to normal with you in it."

"Me to mom I can't wait to stay in your new house. But I think my room may need a little redecorating."

"I say think that's completely understandable why don't you and Alexis go shopping I'm sure she'd love to show her little sister around." She says a smile appearing on her face.

"Well I haven't really met Alexis yet mom and I'm not sure if she even knows. Well technically I did meet her for a brief few seconds but it didn't count."

"Sweetie don't be nervous I'm sure she is going to love you." She says handing me some cash.

"Alright Lanie is texting me that a body just dropped and she has to go. I'll see if she'll drop me off and Castle's and see if Alexis is there. I'll be here Friday after school when you get released."

"Bye I love you" She says as I run out the door.

"Love you too." I stop and say back before bolting down to the waiting room where Lanie is waiting.

"Lanie can you drop me off at Castle's please. Mom said some things I need to tell him pleaseeeeee I'm sure he'd happily watch me for me for a few hours. " I say putting on my cutest puppy dog face.

"Fine. But call him and tell him you are coming." She says sternly.

"Fine." I say picking up my phone and dialing his number.

"Hello."

"Hey yah Castle can I come over for a little while and hang out while Lanie investigates a body drop." I say quickly.

" um sure but uh let yourself in I'll have to have a talk with Alexis there is an extra key in the plant." He says hanging up the phone.

Castle pov

"Alexis? " I yell up the stairs.

"Yah?" Comes the reply.

"Can you come down a second I have some news to tell you." I say fidgeting with my hands. This is going to be the most awkward conversation I've ever had with Alexis.

"Yah dad?"She says plopping down on the couch.

"Well we all recently learned Kate has a daughter who she had in boarding school. Well Kate told me who the father was." I say taking a break to look at her.

"Who is it?" She asks extremely relieved.

"Me. We had a one night stand 14 years ago and she was gone in the morning and she never came to find me or tell me she actually sent her to boarding school so I wouldn't find out. She was afraid I'd try to take her away from her because of her job. But now that I know she said Ican be as involved as JJ will let me be. She's actually coming over in a bit to meet you." I say looking at her face hit every emotion.

"Is she the one that came over with Lanie?"

"Yes. She wanted to thank me for saving her mom's life."

"That's sweet but dad what am I going to talk about with her so you know any of her likes dislikes? Anything?"

"She loves laser tag and chocolate milkshakes. And throwing fries. She's kinda like how you were at 14."

"Dadddd" She whines. We both look up as the door flies open.

"Hi um you told me to let myself in. Sorry to interrupt. " I mumble not knowing what else to say.

"Its alright and I'm going to give you two a formal introduction Alexis this is JJ. JJ this is Alexis."

"Hi."

"Hey" She mumbles back.

"So umm. My mom wants me to go shopping for stuff for my room wanted to know if you would like to come with me and help me pick out some stuff."

"I'd love too." She says smiling her head turning to her father.

"Can we?"

"Of course and I'll drive you just call me when you are done." He said surprisingly. I thought he would say no or another time but he said yes.

"Wait." He said as we were getting out. "Take my credit card." He said throwing it at Alexis.

"Mom gave me some money." I say.

"She is so not paying for this just think of it as a birthday present for all the years I missed. No budget what ever you want. Have fun!" He said driving driving away before I could protest.

"Well then." I say letting out a breath.

"He's like that sometimes, stubborn as hell." Alexis says walking through the doors of the mall. I follow closely behind her as we enter the tempur pedic store.

"What about this one?" She says plopping down onto on to a king size mattress.

"I think king is a little too big." I say.

"Well how about a queen?" She asks.

"Yah that sounds good."

"Alright so how about this one?" She says throwing herself onto a queen size euro top mattresses. I plop down onto it and love it.

"Yes I think this is the one. How much is it?" I ask.

"We don't need to know let's just get a store person and give them dad's credit card."

"Ok." I say a bit unsure still. Alexis came back with a smile on her face.

"They'll deliver it tomorrow to your house around four I'll tell dad to be there." She says.

"Well now we need to look at sheets and blankets. All I have are for twin."

"Alright let's look somewhere else for them. But first let's go into ikea and look for a desk. You'll need one for school." She says pulling me down the mall. Some people might find it annoying, but I always wanted a sister and it's nice to have one.

"Alright it doesn't need to be big just big enough to hold a laptop and your work we can also look for a bed frame here." She says pulling me in the direction of desks.

"Do you want light brown or dark brown wood or they have mahogany colored."

"Let's look at frames and see if we can't find a matching set?" I ask and she looks at me like I'm a genius.

"Of course bed frames are on the next level." She says walking towards the escalator.

"This mahogany one looks sophisticated and cool." She says. "And it would match that desk."

"Alright sounds great I think my mom just wanted me to get some stuff to decorate with. She's gonna be surprised to find I have a completely different room."

"Yah how is it having Kate as a mom.?" She asks as we walk to the register.

"Its nice actually she lets me be independent and my own person. I mean she let me go to boarding school so." I say my voice a little shaky.

"Cool. I'll get this stuff delivered at 4 tomorrow also. Are you hungry because I am."

"Yah I could eat and I could pay with the money mom gave me."

"Thanks that sounds good you wanna go get us seats at the food court while I settle this?"

"Sure." I say walking to the food court. I pick a table near the doors. It was something I got from my mom, we have to be near the exit and we have to see it our backs can't be turned. I sit down and wait for Alexis my mom had given me a hundred dollar bill for redecorating we have probably dropped $1250 at least.

"What do you want?" Alexis says as she finds me.

"I really want a good cheeseburger and fries. What about you?"

"I think that sounds great. We can't get a great cheeseburger but we can get one from McDonalds."

"Sounds good to me." I say placing our orders. It takes ten minutes before they get our order to us. We eat in silence.

"What else do you want to get?" She asks.

"Well a bed set, some paint, and a few shelves to put stuff."

"I think we can get the paint and shelves at Home Depot and the bed set at Target."

"What's closer?"

"They are both right next to each other so either one."

"Alright let's get the bed set first since it's easier to carry."

"K." She says eating her last fry. As soon as I finished she pulled me down the mall.

"What color scheme are you doing?" She asked as she looked at the sets.

"I was thinking of painting the walls a light blue to compliment the mahogany."

"So then what color for your bed set?"

"I was thinking like neon green or orange so it stands out its like wow." I say after contemplating about it.

"I think neon orange or green would look great but they only have the neon orange so orange it is." Alexis says grabbing it. We walk into the next store after Alexis texts Castle to let him let him know we were almost done. We walk into Home Depot on a mission it takes us less than ten minutes to find everything. Alexis carries the paint and I carry the bag with the bed set and shelves and the primer.

Castle gives us a look as we get in the car.

"What else did you guys get?" He asked.

"Well a bed, frame, desk yah know the essentials." Alexis says and we both laugh at his face.

"Kate is going to kill me. " He says quietly.

"Yeah probably and could you be at mom's apartment at 4 tomorrow when the stuff is getting delivered?" I plead pulling out my puppy dog eyes.

"How could I say no. You two are going to kill me."

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><p>An: alright so I have had this written for about five days now, but my computer decided it was going to be a pain in the butt and not work. It finally decided to work today so here you go.<p> 


	8. Chapter 8

"Take it easy mom." I say as I push her in a wheelchair into the house. She isn't strong enough to stand for very long yet but she can and does stand up without anything.

"I know Jess the doctors gave me that long speech remember."

"Yes I remember."

"Why does it smell like paint in here?" She asks raising her brow telling me telling me I couldn't lie.

"Alexis and I painted my room yesterday."

"So you two really bonded?"

"Yeah we did and it feels good having a sister. It was quick and kind of sudden but we really did bond." I say a huge smile on my face.

"I'm glad I want you two to get along and I want you to know your father's side of the family now that you know who he is." She says quietly, obviously still hating herself for not telling me who he was.

"I will we've hung out and mom he ummm paid for some things for me." I blurt out.

"Well I'll go see for my self." She says wheeling herself towards my room while I follow closely behind her afraid of her reaction.

"Jessica you let him pay for all of this stuff?". She says clearly angry.

"He insisted that I buy all of this stuff and was adamant that he was paying for it as his way of making up for not being there." I say not looking her in the eyes.

"Well we better thank him. why don't you call him and see if he can go out to dinner this weekend or tonight. I will be paying." Shesays her voice saying that there will be no arguing with her.

"Alright." I say dialing Castles number.

"Hey." he says.

"Hey mom wants to know if you want to come out to dinner with us tonight or this weekend Alexis is definitely welcome." I say hoping he says yes.

"Sure we can go to Remys I'll be there at 6 to pick you guys up and Alexis would love to come she's been dying to see you again."

"Great thanks." I say extremely excited Alexis wants to see me again she doesn't hate me.

"So when and where?" She asks.

"Tonight at 6 he will be here to pick us up with Alexis."

"Where?" She asks.

"Remys." I say looking at the time it was 5.

"Alright let's sit down and just relax in our own home for a bit." She says making me let out a sigh of relief. I just want to relax.

I plop down on the couch mom pushes herself from her chair and plops herself onto the couch. I want to help her but know she'd yell at me if I even tried. We Beckett's are fiercely independent. I lay my feet over moms legs leaning back into the couch allowing my eyes to shut. I feel mom pull my legs into her. a comfort that was long forgotten a while ago.

"I've missed this mom." I say my eyes still shut.

"Me too." She says barely audible. she protects herself with what she calls the "wall". She doesn't let anyone see her soft motherly side as if it would destroy her.

"How do you feel about Castle truly mom."

"He's always there when I need him. He's there with a cup of coffee and a bear claw even when I don't want him there. He was destroying my walls even though I kept them guarded. I think I'm in love sweetie, but I'm not going to make any rash decisions right away. I'm going to let things fall where they will but I'm no longer going to fight it." She said making me sit up and scoot next to her.

"You have to tell him mom he loves you and you love him you guys have to metaphorically get your heads out of your asses and say something.

"JESS." She yelled playfully swatting my shoulder.

"Hey I'm just saying you should tell him how you feel."

"I will in due time." She said kissing the top of my head and pulling me into her.

"Alright I will accept that for now." I say leaning against her. We sit in silence with her playing with my hair until there is a knock on the door.

"Coming." I yell getting up and opening the door to see Alexis and Castle. "Come in we sort of lost track of time." I say pulling on a pair of shoes. Mom wheeled herself into the kitchen where we were standing.

"Kate you look good." He says.

"Thanks I feel a lot better than I did." She says honestly.

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><p>AN: Short chapter that I worked on. We needed to see Kate and Jess bond. I think the next one will be from Kate's pov.<p> 


	9. Chapter 9

Kate's pov

We sit down in our usual booth, but this time there are two bodies shoving us in.

"So Kate what was little JJ like?"

"She was a little rascal always running around, didn't like to wear a shirt, always had to give her opinion. Don't get me wrong it was cute but not so cute at 11 at night after a long day at work. It always made me smile though she refused to sleep until I came home and read her a story. She wouldn't let any of her babysitters do it. Sometimes I thought it was payback sent from my mom and others like now it's a real blessing to have her around." I say giving Jess a short little hug and a kiss on the head.

"That's cute and little Alexis was like that too crazy little girl. But then she grew up way to fast." He says giving her a playful glare.

"Hey." She joked slapping him on the arm. I laugh at the two of them I hope one day Jess and I will become that close again.

"I hate to interrupt but do you guys know what you want?" The waiter asked.

"Yah." We all answer simultaneously.

"Four cheeseburgers with fries two chocolate large shakes and one vanilla what kind of shake do you want Alexis?" I ask.

"Strawberry please." She says to the waiter.

"Is that all?" She asks politely.

"Yes that'll be all." Castle says.

"So how's school going Alexis I know it just started but you are taking a lot of hard classes."

"It's pretty good so far I have had a lot of homework even though we just started. I was expecting it though Senior year is tough and I made the choice to make it tough."

"Yah I remember my senior year I wanted to get into law school really bad so I made it extremely hard on my self sometimes I would go an entire three to four days without sleep until my mom stepped in. She told me nothing was worth making myself a zombie not even getting into law school."

"Yah I guess so." She replies. "How's your freshman year staring off?" She asks changing the subject it was so obvious I think Rick got it.

"Pretty good I really like my English teacher. I'm not so into geometry though." Jess says.

"If you ever need help I can help you." Alexis says. I wish I had a sibling like Alexis so nice and caring.

"I might just take you up on that." She says warningly.

"Alright Rick how has your next book been coming?"

"Pretty good so far I'm almost finished with this one."

"Good I'm glad." I say.

"Yah so Kate how does it feel to finally be free of the hospital food and beds those are so uncomfortable." He says making me laugh. He can take a really hard emotional moment and make it into something not so bad.

"I don't know yet I'll have to wait until I get some food but I'm pretty sure your right those beds did not do so good for my back."

"I am always give you a massage or refer you to a good chiropractor." He says knowing that he's testing boundaries there.

"Hmmmm you sure about that?" I ask raising my brow.

"Yes. Both options still stand.

"Well it think I might just need a good massage." I say seeing his face light up. "And I can get one after seeing that chiropractor you recommend." I say seeing his face fall in defeat only to light back up.

"You're a tease Beckett and nobody likes a tease." He says and I feel a ping of guilt I've done nothing but lead him on for three full years.

"Fine I could go for a little back massage Castle." I say in defeat it's the least I can do after what I've put him through and it'll give us a chance to talk in private.

"How about I swing by your place at lets say 12 with lunch and a massage after?" He asks testing to see if I am serious.

"Sounds great." I say and swear the second after the girls both let out a squeal of delight pulling Castle and I out of our trance.

"What?" He asks.

"Nothing." They both yell a little too excitedly. "Oh and uhhhh can we go shopping together for clothes this time?" Alexis asks totally trying to get us alone together.

"If that's ok with Jess?" I ask knowing that she's extremely cautious of people seeing her scars hell she didn't even tell me about them for the longest time.

"Sure mom." She says smiling she's definitely hoping for us to get together along with Alexis and Martha, the entire Castle gang ships it.

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><p>AN: Filler writers hate writing it you hate reading it but we need something to get us form point a to point b and I forgot to mention there is no Josh in this story


	10. Chapter 10

"Come in." I yell not wanting to get into my wheelchair and open the door. Jess left 20 minutes ago and Alexis said Rick would be over soon. The door opens slowly and Rick comes in with Chinese.

"How'd you know I was in the mood for Chinese?"

"Kate Beckett we've been partners for three years and you are just now realizing my powers of knowing you. I'm a writer I pay attention to detail. And the Chinese place was on the way."

"That's what I thought." I say pushing my self into the wheelchair and over to Rick.

"Hey don't insult me I've been a very crucial piece in multiple investigations."

"I guess I'd have to give you that there were a few we never would have solved without you."

"See amazing now eat your Chinese." He says already having devoured a quarter of his.

I pick up my fork and slowly eat not trying to force anything to go down too fast. By the time I finish Castlehas been watching me for about five minutes.

"It's creepy to stare." I say as I finish my last bite."

"I know I know but I just can't help but stare."

"Castle we need to talk about what happened after I was shot."

"Ok." He says as his whole body tenses up.

"I heard what you said and I just want to know if you really feel tht way about me."

"Kate I have always loved you since the first day I saw you at my book signing. You were different from everyone you didn't care about my fame or money. You just want to solve murders and I love that about you. You are humble and kind and there is nothing you won't do to find justice."

"Rick I think I love you too, but I want to take this slow we both have a daughter to think about and you have Alexis. I want this to work but I want slow and steady."

"I can do that slow and steady. Are you ready to be wooed by Richard Castle?"

"Rick I am and I'm excited but there are other things to worry about such as there are regulations against co workers dating."

"I'm not actually an NYPD officer I'm just a volunteer basically. And if they crack hard on it I'll just stay here and write and help you with your cases here. Nothing will change. I love you Katherine Beckett and nothing will change that."

"How do you do this you just make something so serious into something so easy and soft. That's one of the things that made me fall in love with you."

"Kate that's just what I do now we have quite a while before you go back to work and we can use that to explore our relationship."

"You have a point how does 7 sound tonight we can go to dinner and then a movie it'll be great or we can opt to dine in at my house eat pizza and play video games at which I could text Alexis now and we can make a day out of it."

"I think the second option sounds the best keep the media and everyone else out of it for as long as we can."

"Alright just give me a minute to tell Alexis we will be at the loft and not here."

"K" I say as he walks into the hall to call her. Why did I say yes? Why the hell did I tell him about my feelings? Why the hell am I doing any of this? Ah yes I listened to my heart that's why. I'm lost in my thoughts when he comes back only to be broken away when he takes a picture of me.

"Castle! Don't be taking pictures of me it's creepy."

"You look cute lost in thought look." He says flashing his phone at me.

"I guess I do but still. Come on let's go I think kicking your butt at halo or call of duty sounds great right now."

"You are so on Beckett then after wards a game of poker?" He asks.

"What would the wager be?" I ask with a smile on my face."

"Well if you win I will do whatever you want for a day whether it be take you out or leave you alone. I win you have to let me take you and JJ out for a weekend to the Hamptons. And if JJ wants Alexis can come too."

"I think poker sounds great first. But we better get over to the loft." I say wheeling my self out the door. I can't wait for a week or two when I'll be able to walk on my own.

* * *

><p>AN:Really short chapter but a really much needed chapter just going over some things. And guys I'm not a doctor and I am basing all of her recovery based on my Aunt who had heart surgery. Like if you know anything about how her recovery should go then tell me please.<p> 


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